Closing A Chapter

So there I was, a junior in high school. Everyone said it was time to start thinking about where I wanted to go to college and what I wanted to be when I grew up. Hmmm… I was 17 years old, I didn’t know what I want to be when I grow up, what were my options? What age is classified as “grown up?” Were there more options than being a teacher, farmer, lifeguard, working at the Pizza Man, or maybe having an office job somewhere? That’s all I really knew existed at that time. Being from a super small town, I was lacking the knowledge of even knowing what options I had. When my other classmates started throwing out there that they were going into Psychology, Journalism, Criminal Justice, etc, I really had no idea what exactly those entailed. They were merely just words to me that I kinda knew a little bit about what they were. Was it really expected that I know what I wanted to be when I “grew up” at age 17 or 18, and to make that decision and base the rest of my life on it? “Well, if I must decide, I guess I will pick accounting because I like my teacher and I’m good at it.” Ok, decision made, major declared. Done deal. I will be an accountant when I grow up. Whatever that means.

My senior year flew by and before I knew it, I was living the life of a college student, and taking classes toward becoming an accountant….still, whatever that means. Well into my sophomore year of college when the accounting classes started to get more and more in depth and having dreams of numbers after studying for 12 hours straight for exams and seeing my peers studying other things like Advertising, Marketing, Graphic Design, Fashion Design, and Geology, I realized that there was a whole world of options beyond what I knew existed. To me, it was too late to change majors because I sure didn’t want to spend anymore time in school than I had to. So I kept on pushing forward with the end goal being to finish college in 4 years with a bachelor’s degree in accounting.

After doing an internship in internal audit at Country Insurance, I got a little taste of what office life was going to be like. I helped with some audits, got a small feel for some business travel, got accustomed to some office politics and had myself convinced that everything I didn’t like about that place was unique to that company and whatever full-time job I found after school all of that bad stuff would go away. Ahhh finally, graduation. No more studying for hours upon end trying to work through accounting homework or memorize calculations and methodologies for exams, all of which had to be balanced with working 20+hours/week to help pay for school, rent and have some play money.

Time to start working in the real world. Let’s get on with it. It was right after September 11th and the job market had taken a tumble. In fact a lot of my college classmates had jobs lined up and ended up getting called back and were told that they were “un-hired”. Graduation neared and I still didn’t have a job lined up. I was getting nervous. I ended up getting an offer from Kraft Foods, which required me to move all the way up to Chicago. Despite how scary that was being from a small town with no stop lights and not knowing a single soul up there….away I went.

I will never forget my first two days there. Day 1 entailed a warm welcome from my new boss, a tour of the building, lunch with her at the cafeteria/food court, reading some new hire guide manual thingie and home. Day 2 entailed barely remembering how to make it from the parking lot to my desk, but once I made it, I read some more of the new hire guide, trained a little with one of the girls who was showing me how to do some stuff then off to lunch. Hmmm… everyone seemed to either already have plans or forgot that a new girl just started, so I decided to venture on down to the cafeteria/food court by myself….hmmm.. wait.. how do I get down there again? Maybe I needed to turn left instead of right… oh shoot I’m lost and don’t know where I am. Oh wait, there’s an exit sign, I’ll play it cool and just pretend I was on my way out the door and was planning on going out for lunch instead. Phew I found my car. Ok, now what? I wonder where the restaurants are around here. I think I kinda remember seeing some down this one road when I interviewed here. I’ll head that way. Wow, nothing looks familiar, I don’t see any restaraunts, I don’t want to get lost, so maybe I should turn around and head a different direction. Surely I’ll run into a restaurant before too long. Wow, really? No restaurants down this way either huh? Well crap, lunch hour is almost over, I think I remember seeing a gas station back this other way… mmmmmmm two-day old cold cut sandwich, bag of chips and a Mt. Dew from the gas station, now that’s delicious! That was just one of many many memorable moments at Kraft Foods.

I did two rotations at Kraft and as much as I may have complained and moaned and groaned about the work and the commute and of course there’s always a few annoying co-workers that I crossed paths with, the over all experience resulted in enormous personal growth, excellent professional experience, and lifelong friendships. The personal growth aspect is a no brainer, I learned the in’s and out’s of stoplights. Just kidding. I knew how stoplights worked, even though I came from a town without any. I definitely learned how to be a city driver though. I learned real quick that 15 miles did NOT equal 15 minutes anymore. I had to learn how to be a much stronger person and rely less on other people. I had to learn to live with a 3 hour distance between me and all of my friends and family. Thank goodness it didn’t take long to meet some great people at work. The beauty of Kraft’s structure was that they hire a lot of people right out of college, so it was almost an extension of college life. That helped with the transition tremendously. I had a lot of fun and experienced a taste of “the city life” with numerous Thursday night trips downtown to McGees for $1 bottles & 80’s dance parties of course followed up by the elevator ride of shame back into the office the following day hoping to not reek of stale beer. Once Chad moved up with me, and as I continued to meet more people, I got a little more adventurous as far as venturing away from my apartment. Living in the Chicago area presented us with the opportunity to easily go to sporting events, concerts, and eat lots of great food. Tons of fun was had and some of my most cherished memories evolved from living up there. I also became such close friends with some of the people I met there that we ended up all going on a vacation to Cancun together. That was a one of a kind trip of a lifetime and resulted in many laughs that will tickle me for an eternity.

Aside from the social aspect, I also learned a great deal about life, culture, and diversity. Never before working at Kraft had I ever been asked the question, “what are you?” Seems as if everyone wanted to know the answer to that question though. “What do you mean, what am I?” A person. A girl. Little did I realize at first that they wanted to know if I was German, Italian, Polish, Irish, etc. Ahhhhh. Ok, in that case, I’m German. I guess. I think. Hold on let me call and ask. HAHAHAHA. Again, being from a small town that is a 99.9% white community, I had never been exposed to anything different. I can now proudly say I have friends that are black, white, Indian, Asian, Mexican, Polish, Irish, and learning how different some cultures are has been a wonderful awakening.

Despite how much fun I had, I could never get past the distance between my friends and family back home, the traffic, and the high cost of living. Chad and I were married in 2004 and the thought of starting a family in the Chicago area just wasn’t what we wanted. So after three years with Kraft, we started seeking opportunities back in Central, IL. Since we both went to school at Illinois State, Bloomington seemed like a logical place to land. I ended up getting a job back at Country Insurance. I think it might have helped that I had already done an internship there in the past. It wasn’t EXACTLY what I was looking for, but decided not to be picky. It was a ticket back to the area. Chad was able to transfer with Enterprise to a branch down here.

Alas, we were settled in our new house and new jobs. Why was I still unhappy? Perhaps it was that I was a grumpy pregnant lady who just couldn’t shake her morning sickness, or perhaps I just really didn’t like what I was doing. Accounting for Food and Accounting for Insurance are two completely different monsters. Not only that, but the environment at Country was like night and day from Kraft. Everyone was old, stuck in their ways, hated change, and you had to be someone’s son or daughter that already worked there in order to move up in the company. That place exposed me to a whole new meaning of office politics. I was only able to suck it up and stay there for just over a year before I was looking for something else. I found yet another accounting job at Nestle.

In my three years at Nestle, I learned a whole new aspect of accounting that I hadn’t seen yet, Cost/Manufacturing accounting. The experience at Nestle provided some great opportunities, allowed me to meet even more great people, and possibly one of the most rewarding experiences was the opportunity to help build a playground for underpriviledged children in a neighborhood in California. The job at Nestle definitely kept me busy and challenged and there was never a dull moment. The problem was that I was working too long of hours and traveling too much. Everytime I turned around, I was somewhere besides home. I definitely racked up the frequent flier miles and got to see some places I probably wouldn't have otherwise and met some great people along the way, but it just wasn't ideal because I was missing out on too much of Bradyn's early years. In the past three years I've been to California dozens of times, Boston multiple times, Portland, Nevada, Utah, Texas, Indiana, Wisconsin, New York multiple times, New Jersey, Connecticut, and Chicagoland area too much to count.

Again, I have grown professionally and have three more years of accounting experience and business skills under my belt. I now know how to count and eat chocolate. Just kidding. I can count inventory, tell you all about variances such as what could be causing a product to cost more than planned, and I can cordially deal with a wide variety of people. My organization skills are top notch. I can multitask, juggle work, and reconcile even the most ridiculous dumping ground of an account ever. I am an excel genious and can create the most elaborate spreadsheet ever, I’m an excellent trainer, mentor, and can explain accounting to dumb monkeys. I’m great at what I do, but what it all comes down to though is that I don't love accounting. I selected it as a major, realized my sophomore year of college that I really didn't want to do it, but didn't want to have to go to school any longer than I had to, so I pushed through and got the degree. I continued on and made a career of it but it's always just been a job for me. I haven't really ever loved what I do. I know work isn't life and that you just have to work in order to make enough money to play. I've found though that I haven't truly felt like myself for quite some time now, I've lost a piece of spunkyness, happiness, something. I haven't felt like myself for years. I don't like waking up every morning and trying to convince myself to get out of bed and go to work and do something that is always going to be a thankless job regardless of how well I do. That's just the nature of accounting. We are definitely not here to help anyone.

Throughout my accounting journey, I have always had this in the back of my head. I always knew that Accounting was “it.” I have always kept an open mind and have been on a constant exploration as to what else it might be that I would enjoy doing. Along my journey, I took a real estate course, a photography course, got my wedding planning certification, tried my hand at two at home businesses, dabbled more in photography, and even thought about writing children’s books. I have spent some time searching..read some books...made some life goals...did some self assessment activities and through a book called "What Color is My Parachute" discovered that I need to be doing something where I interact with people/kids because my personality is one of my biggest strengths. It is doing the world no good that I have my personality bottled up in a cubical all day long.

I have also determined that my true passions are photography & music. I have translated that into a slideshow business that I am still working the quirks out, but see it going places. I am going to be working part-time at a photography studio called Portrait Innovations to make some extra cash and get some photography experience... who knows maybe it will develop into a career, or maybe it will open another door to another opportunity. All I know is at least I will be doing something that is more of a hobby to me and will get to bring smiles to people's faces through the art of photos and if I happen to make a dollar or two along the way, sweet.

I probably won't stay at home forever, but it is time to close the accounting door and look for other options that are a closer fit to who I am as a person. I know lots of people who wish they could do this, but think they can't. I see why they think they can't because it's really weird stepping away from all I've ever known and walking in a completely different direction. I am couragous though and know there is no time like the present and if I don't do it now, I probably never will. Or the longer I wait the harder it will be to change careers.

So, while yes, it is a little scary, change and the unknown always are, it's also extremely exciting and I feel a thousand pounds lighter and am so grateful that Chad has a great job that gives me the flexibilty to be able to take this leap. I love it that I don't have to cringe at the thought of facing numbers and spreadsheets everyday and will be able to let my personality shine again. I will now be able to spend more time with Bradyn and be able to take back some of the aspects of my life that I either let go of completely or lost a handle on. I have a huge appreciation for the working moms of the world and even more appreciation for the single parents of the world because working, raising children, and upkeeping a house… well.. it’s nearly impossible to be great at all three at the same time.

I am looking forward to some time to get things back into a non-chaotic order. I can’t wait to not have to trip over who knows what that I never had time to pick up at the house. I can’t wait to not have to dig through a pile of clean clothes that I never got a chance to put away to find a matching pair of socks, or a clean pair of underwear. I can’t wait to be able to stop for just a second to smell the roses. I may even cook a meal or two here and there, but most importantly, I’m looking forward to getting to know myself again and and not be that zombie lady that has been running around like a chicken with her head cutoff for the past few years and spend some quality time with my friends and family and catch up on things that I have been missing out on.

Goodbye Accounting.